I sat there, stunned. I couldn’t believe my ears. No! I refuse to accept this. How can I be pregnant? Chris and I had always been protected whenever we had sex. Now, this doctor was standing there telling my mum and me that I was nine weeks pregnant.
I felt like I was in a dream – like I was having an out-of-body experience. I had my whole life ahead of me – it was not supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to go to the university, travel abroad for my masters’ degree, marry, and then pregnancy can come. Not when I was barely out of secondary school and still a child myself.
I couldn’t even look at my mum, I didn’t want to see the disappointment I knew would be etched on her features; I didn’t want to see her accusing eyes as she would ask me what on earth she would tell my father; I didn’t want to see the pain that would surely be in her eyes as she contemplated how I had managed to ruin my life. I simply couldn’t bear to look at her.
I don’t know how long we sat there after the doctor left the examination room. I stole a look from under my lashes and I could see her just sitting there staring into space. After a while, she stood up.
“Let’s go home.” That was all she said.
I stood up reluctantly. I really did not want to go home and the last thing I wanted to do then was to see Chris. I couldn’t imagine what his reaction would be; to be told by your seventeen-year old girlfriend that you, at eighteen, are about to become a father. This is so messed up.
Mum was silent throughout the drive home. I couldn’t begin to imagine what was going on in her mind. I knew they couldn’t be good thoughts. I briefly nursed the idea of terminating the pregnancy; Chris did not have to know about it – but I knew I wouldn’t have the heart to go through with it. As terrified as I was by the pregnancy, I couldn’t bear the thought of killing the baby.
I stared unseeingly out the window of the car as we drove home from the hospital. I couldn’t believe that in the two short years that I had been in that city, my life had changed dramatically. It had been an emotional roller-coaster for me. I went from falling in love to getting pregnant in such a short time. This is definitely the worst thing that could have happened.
We drove into our compound and my mum stopped the engine. “Go straight to your room, Bella. I’ll come see you after I have spoken with your dad.”
“Okay, mum.” I answered timidly.
I got to my room and laid on the bed, burying my head in my pillow. I wish I could just disappear, but my wish was not about to come true. I found my thoughts drifting to our graduation night; the night Chris and I were first intimate.
Hope you enjoyed that snippet? Just one month to go before the book’s release! Yaaaay!
Bella and Chris can’t wait to meet you guys as I am sure you are eager to meet them too. Watch out for the big release. Don’t be found wanting.